The palms of my hands were sweaty, I felt weak at the knees and I thought that I was going to fall off my Jimmy Choos right then and there in front of all of the women in front of me….
I felt sick…. And NO this was not stomach flu – this was fear, this was an overwhelming reaction to my nerves, this was me taking the leap and stepping into the unknown and this scared the hell out of me!
Flash back to a few months earlier… It was a normal day (if a normal day in an entrepreneurs life does exist) when I received an email inviting me to speak at an event in the United States! YASSS! This was the break that I had been working my butt off for!
And then I saw them…. The other names of the entrepreneurs who were also speaking at the event. Entrepreneurs who I looked up to, entrepreneurs who had inspired me to start my business!
To say that I was completely excited and absolutely terrified is an understatement.
I was equal parts flattered and totally confused. I couldn’t help but wonder, “why me?” and “What business do I have sharing the stage with these power players?”
You see I wasn’t long into my journey and my business was only just starting to take off and although I had grown other successful businesses I was still trying to find my feet in THIS business.
I mean what if people found out how little I REALLY knew compared to these other power players!
And i’m betting that you know exactly how I feel – We’ve all been there, where we feel that certain amount of fear when we put ourselves out there, make ourselves vulnerable and step outside of our comfort zone. You begin asking yourself, “Will they like me?“, “What if they don’t think i’m smart enough?” and “What if they are more successful than me?”
But here’s the thing – Those people that your busy worrying about and comparing yourself to have all felt the exact same way that your feeling at some stage within their journey.
The reality is that we are all confronted with this kind of fear now and then but the difference between people who achieve incredible success and those who stay stuck is their ability to move through their fear and keep going.
SMASH THROUGH YOUR FEAR
Now before I share with you my secrets for smashing through your fear I need to make something VERY clear…. You are NEVER going to smash through your fear forever. There are ALWAYS going to be situations, events, opportunities or clients that are going to makes you nervous.
It doesn’t matter how successful you become or how high you rise as an expert within your field, you are still going to experience those anxious, palm sweating, fall off your Jimmy Choos moments. What make you anxious may change over time, but it will still happen.
The good news is that you can break free of your fear and work through it so it doesn’t have to hold you back.
And as always, here are my 5 top tips to get you started:
1. BECOME AWARE OF HOW YOU ARE FEELING
Awareness is the first step. For example, in my case, the clammy hands, weak knees and that overwhelming feeling of my stomach being twisted in a million different ways were all signs of my fear. Once you become aware of your symptoms you can recognise it for what they really are and start working through them.
I know that you have probably heard this before but it really does work. So I want you to take a moment and focus on your breath. By focusing on your breath it short circuits your fear fast so you can get back to being the amazing lady boss that you were born to be.
Preparation is key! One of the most effective ways to combat fear is to be as prepared as possible. Ask someone who you know in the industry what to expect, prepare what you are going to say, pick out your outfit, find out how to get there and make sure that you collate any resources that you may need. And if you REALLY want to break through your fear and take this even one step further you can visualise yourself feeling calm and peaceful whilst doing the thing that is scaring the pants off you. Trust me – It works!
4. CALM YOUR IMAGINATION
If you notice that your mind is running all kinds of scenarios in your head, such as you falling flat on your face (one of my minds favourite mind tricks to play), getting laughed out of the room etc Then simply change the story in your head! Try saying to yourself, “WOW that was a good one! My imagination is on fire today! This event/opportunity must really be important to me!” Once you realise what is going on and the tricks that your mind is playing on you than you can quiet the chatter down.
5. EXPECT NOTHING BUT THE BEST
I want you to work with me for a second…. What would happen if instead of immediately jumping straight to the worst case scenario of what could happen, you jumped straight to thinking about the best case scenario? So instead of wondering if people are wanting to meet you, you imagine that people are coming up to you because they value your expertise and they are so grateful to have met you because you have impacted their lives and their business on such a profound level! And if/when your fear raises it’s ugly head (and it will from time to time), trying to get you to doubt yourself and your great work, then you need to tell it to “Sit down and shoosh up because you have important work to do!”
I’ve said it before and i’ll say it again – Find your tribe, surround yourself with people who support you, so you are able to move through your fear towards success faster and more effectively. Which is why I started the Ladies Who Lead Sisterhood because I know first hand how invaluable to both yourself and your business, surrounding yourself with people who have your back is…. PRICELESS!
Which is why I want to encourage you to reach out and join the LWL Sisterhood on Facebook because it is my purpose to help women in business excel and create a life that is both purposeful and profitable and girl, you can’t do that hiding behind the curtain of fear!
So what happened to me all of those years ago? I got up on that stage, I remembered MY purpose and I rocked the house because I had a job to do and that job/purpose was more important to me than anything my fear could throw my way.
Just remember, next time you are frozen with fear and feel as though you are about to fall off your Jimmy Choos, just like I did that day, remember the impact that you were born to make, that you were meant to SHINE and that you are a LADY WHO LEADS!
Because gorgeous – You’re WORTH IT!