I want to talk to you about something that isn’t spoken about a lot, something that’s a little… well a little unusual should we say. Can you guess what it is?
You see most articles or email blasts focus on the nuts and bolts of business or how to achieve the best results within your business, and to be honest most of mine do as well, but this one, this one is different. This one we are going to focus on something that can make a lot of people uncomfortable and even sometimes vulnerable and that is the emotional side of business.
If your in business you know what a rollercoaster of emotion that running a business can put you on. You have the high highs and then you have the low lows and that can all be in one day. One moment you’re flying high because you secured a new client or closed that dream deal and then literally five minutes later, you’re crashing in a sea of fear and doubt about how you’re going to make it all happen or get through the million of things that you need to be doing to keep the business moving forward.
Sound familiar? Well, it’s THAT fear that I want to talk to you about.
You see I am a big believer that your business is the best vehicle for you to achieve both personal and professional growth and that the only way to grow is to stretch outside of your comfort zone and do the things that you are scared of doing.
In evolutionary terms, fear is a useful emotion because it gets our hearts pumping and keeps us away from the edge of the cliff. In simple terms fear is there to keep us out of danger or to make us weary of the unknown.
Nowadays, there are very few tigers stalking the city streets, and while it’s still a good idea to stay away from the edge of the tall buildings, the fear we feel on a daily basis is much less about preserving our life as preserving our imaginary boundaries or in other words the boundaries that we place on ourselves, our upper limits.
Our brains don’t like to try new things, it likes to stick with what it knows is safe and easy, what is familiar.
But safe and easy is not how you get ahead in this world, it’s not how you live your purpose and it’s certainly not how you challenge the status quo and contribute to the world in the big beautiful way that you were born to.
When I look back over my journey and more specifically the times that I have been the most scared, the most terrified, these were usually the times that were the most critical in my growth, either personally or professionally.
I remember when I did my first sales call for my coaching business, I was TERRIFIED! What if they didn’t have a breakthrough on the call? What if they didn’t see the value in what I was offering or thought that I was hopeless? There were a MILLION things that I was terrified of happening, in fact, the whole time that I was on the phone I swear my voice was quivering and I thought they were going to laugh at me for sure.
But do you know what ended up happening? They bought the mastermind and referred two other fabulous ladies into the mastermind as well! Because they KNEW that this was the program that was going to take them from WOAH to WHOO, and it did! Those ladies are still in the mastermind to this day, and I have since done so many sales calls, and now instead of feeling terrified before picking up that phone, I get EXCITED! Because I know that this is the best way for me to make that massive impact and get the gorgeous lady boss on the other end of the phone that break through that they need to take them to the next level in their business.
So what do you know that you should be doing in your business, but don’t, because you’re terrified?
Is it reaching out to that potential new client? Is it doing a Facebook LIVE video? Or writing a controversial blog post that is going to put you out there in a big way? Or is it even charging what your worth because you’re scared that people aren’t going to like you or see the value in what you have to offer?
Whatever it is, there is a way to break through that fear and learn to get comfortable with being uncomfortable, and that is by simply DOING IT! That’s right! It’s that easy! Just take that leap of faith, back yourself and GO FOR IT!
We are not where we were thousands of years ago! Our brains are not telling us to run because we are in danger…. NO! Fear is a useful emotion, not because it tells you to run away screaming, but because it tells you that you’re on the edge of something BIG, something HUGE!
And to help you do that I have listed a couple of the more common fears that can stop you in your tracks and why these pesky fears pop up from time to time, because remember, knowledge is power, so if you understand WHY you feel the way you do then you can recognise the signs earlier on and nip it in the bud whenever it wants to pop back up to say hello.
Believe it or not, perfectionism is fear! Yep, you heard me right…. The NEED to “Be the best that I can possibly be because failure is not an option” is fear! It is the fear of being seen as less, as not good enough, as imperfect.
Here’s a newsflash – No one is perfect! No one. Not me, not Oprah, not the business girl crush that you’ve been following who inspired your journey. NO ONE!
I cultivate a certain persona online that includes an image I like to project – a gorgeous image, clean, inspiring and successful. But I also try to include as much as the nitty gritty, the behind the scenes, the struggles as well as the success. I am NOT perfect. I have had my fair share of failures, and i’m extremely proud of each and every one of them because each of those failures, each of those lessons taught me something, and meant that I toke a risk and I put myself out there. Did it always work? NO! But did I walk away with my head held high with my new found knowledge tucked neatly inside my belt – You bet! Because life is a risk, business is a risk and you are never going to achieve anything if you don’t take the gamble.
FEAR OF FAILURE
I think probably the most common fear in business is the fear of failure. It’s why I was afraid of sitting down to make my first sales call, and if i’m honest, it’s something i’ve felt more or less at almost every stage of my business.
When I first started out, I was like many entrepreneurs are, worried that I would be a total flop. That no one would buy what I was offering or that they wouldn’t see the value in the new program that I was launching and they would laugh in my face.
When these worries creep up on me, I like to ask myself, what’s the absolute worst thing that can happen? Because once I think about this and realise that it’s not that bad, then it takes the fear right out of it, because you know what could happen and you are absolutely prepared for it.
FEAR OF SUCCESS
Strange I know, but more common than not, especially as business owners and then again as women.
One of my all time favourite books is a book by Gay Hendricks called The Big Leap, and in it he suggests that almost all of us impose an upper limit on ourselves, and once we reach that threshold, we start unconciously self sabotaging. Think of celebrities who reach the height of their fame, only to have their personal lives crumble around them. Think Julia Roberts or Reece Witherspoon after they won their oscars and then within weeks split from their respective husband or partner.
For us who are not famous, it may not be as dramatic, but it’s still there. Let’s say that your business is taking off at a rapid pace and all of the pieces of the puzzle are FINALLY starting to come together and you are right on the cusp of kicking things up a level and making a bigger impact. You get invited to do an interview with a well known publication that would introduce you to thousands of new potential customers…. Butttt then you turn the offer down. Why? Because you’re afraid of doing the interview. Because it’s new, it’s foreign and it’s scary.
Believe it or not but that’s an upper limit problem and a fear of success. It’s probably not actually the interview that terrifies you, but what that interview means, what it signifies and that it means you will be playing at a much higher game and to a much larger audience.
The good news is that now you have identified these fears and recognise that they are holding you back, than you have already completed the first step in overcoming them.
Just remember, that what you think you are afraid of is generally not the root of fear. It’s usually a symptom of perfectionism, a fear of failure or a fear of success. Recognise this and you will be able to eliminate the fear at the very root. And how do you do that? By FEELING THE FEAR AND DOING IT ANYWAY!
So GO FOR IT! Because really…. What’s the worse that can happen?
P.s If you haven’t joined the Ladies Who Lead sisterhood on Facebook than YOU SHOULD!
This is a FREE group that I have created to provide you with the support, guidance, partnerships and friendships that every lady boss needs to be able to be the POWERHOUSE women that they were born to be!
Ladies Who Lead is a movement. Women are rewriting the rules of leadership, business success and entrepreneurship around the world. We are standing up, embracing our feminine energy and living life on our terms.
We are mothers, we are daughters, we are friends, sisters and lovers but most of all we are LADIES WHO LEAD!
We are ladies who are leading the way of the future which is why I created this movement and why this movement is so important.
This movement means that you don’t have to walk this path alone. You have a tribe of women behind you ready to cheer you on, ready to encourage you and ready to support you when you begin to doubt yourself or your purpose. This group is a place for you to receive tips, tricks and strategies that you can apply to your business to get better results faster and allow you to THINK BIGGER AND LIVE LARGER!
But most importantly it is a place for you to CONNECT! To be surrounded by that POWERFUL energy and support that only a SISTERHOOD of likeminded fierce lady bosses who are on a similar path to you can provide.
We are your TRIBE. We are your SISTERS. We are LADIES WHO LEAD and we are waiting for YOU!
Click on the link above to take your place NOW!